It's okay to be scared, to be upset, to be angry, to mourn. It’s okay to be upset, to cry at night and to not be able to answer the questions that your children are asking. I don’t have an answer when my daughter asks when she can go back to school or when she gets to see her grandparents again. This is one time that I cannot “fix it” for her. We used to get together once a week with our parents. I haven't seen my parents and my sister in almost a month. Outside of college, I can’t think of a time that I did not see them for an entire month.
It’s okay to mourn the loss of the friends and family that you don't get to see, the experiences your children are going to miss. Maybe the long-awaited family vacation or the spring wedding. And especially those who we have lost and those we will lose to this virus.
I’m scared I’m going to lose my business. Being a small business owner adds an entirely new level of fright. People are not thinking about buying new clothes, hats and jewelry. They're trying to put food on the table, trying not to get sick and trying to be strong and supportive for their family members. I understand their worries and priorities, but I am worried about my business surviving this.
I am NOT a “good sleeper” If I get to bed before 1am it’s a good night. On a good night I usually get about 5 hours of rest. I tend to toss and turn and I am not very good at turning off my mind. It has been worse lately. The other night when I went to bed I finally had enough. I laid in bed for good 45 minutes because I needed to cry. I needed to release emotions that I had held inside the last month. I needed to talk to God, to vent and to be still. Sometimes I can’t put into words what I am thinking or feeling but I know that if I am still, God can “feel” and understand. He can see my heart, my emotions, my fears. I needed to get those emotions out so I can be strong again in the morning for my family.
It doesn't matter what side of the political aisle you're on; it doesn't matter at all. What does matter is how we get through this. What matters is when we come out of this, what is it going to look like on the other side? What will change? How will we be a better person? How do we take care of our neighbors going forward? How will we take care of our small businesses that have supported us? How do we support our children, our schools, and teachers? What we do for those who have lost loved ones? How are we going to support the ones who made the tough decisions; the heartbreaking, life altering decisions?
The weight of the world is on our leaders’ shoulders. Could you imagine being a governor, a mayor, a doctor, a nurse or the President? Do they have time to breathe, do they have time to mourn, to pray, to rest? Do they have time to sit down with their family at dinner and take just one minute? Do they have time to be scared? Whoever you agree with, it doesn't matter right now. They're humans; they are humans and they are scared like everybody else. Give them that grace.
Everyone needs a little bit of extra grace. God gives it freely and so should we. Everyone deserves extra love, patience, and kindness. We can't hug each other or hold hands. You can't hug your best friend and tell her it's going to be OK.
Maybe when this all over, we will all be new people. We will show more kindness, more grace and more mercy. I hope we will come out of this stronger and kinder. Maybe we will take more time to relax, to play with our children and time to see our parents. Maybe we will show kindness the person who is bagging our groceries and to the janitor who's cleaning up the hallways. Maybe we will show grace to the police officer who's on the street or to the doctors and the nurses who care for us.
Will you take more time to go out and play basketball in the driveway and put down your phones? Will you take more time for those long walks that we've enjoyed in the last few weeks? What will you do? How will you change your story?
Even though we know God has his reasons for doing things, we may not understand or like or even agree with them but that's not our job. I will walk with Him, let Him walk ahead of me and lead me down the right path. You are allowed to scream, yell, cry and talk anytime…He will listen and will always be there. He was there before this, He will be there during this and He will be there after it.
]]>That one thing for me is keys. I have keys all over my house, in my car, on my desk, etc. I have key necklaces and earrings. There are pictures, drawing, candle holders, skeleton keys and more! It drives my husband crazy because I have some form of a key in every room in our house except the closets! If my family or friends cannot think of something for my birthday or a holiday, they know they can always give me a key!
When I was working on a logo for Blessed Attire I knew that I had to have a key somewhere in it. Our tag line is “unlock your style” and we even sell key jewelry on the website and in our store.
So why keys? Each key is unique and has its own special qualities and characteristics. There are iron keys, skeleton keys, wooden keys. Some are small and simple while others are detailed with intricate designs. And each key goes to a unique door. It may be a gate, a beautiful ornate door or a simple, plain door. Again, all unique. They each have their own purpose. Some unlock the door to your home, others to a locker and still others to a church or safe. Without the right key for the right lock, we are locked out.
To me, keys are a reminder that each person is different and unique in the way God made them. I believe that God leads us to each door, but we have to unlock it! Each door you unlock has a pathway that is unique to itself. Behind the door might be an adventurer or it might be a challenge, but I know that God will unlock the right doors for me at the right time to help me see the path that I meant to be on.
In the book of Matthew (16:19-MSG), Jesus tells Peter 19 “And that’s not all. You will have complete and free access to God’s kingdom, keys to open any and every door…” Think about how many doors Peter unlocked! How many people he brought to Christ.
On my right wrist I have a key tattoo with a blue ribbon and a cross on the bottom. It’s a daily reminder that my faith will be able to unlock any door. It reminds me that I’m not stuck where I am unless I choose to stay there. There’s always another door, there’s always another key, there’s always another adventure or opportunity. I just have to have the courage to unlock the doors with the keys God has given me.
There are going to be doors that you may not be able to unlock. No matter how many keys you try, no matter how many doors you try, you will come to one you cannot open. God may not want you to unlock that door. When He locks you out of one door, He will open a different one!
What doors do you want to need to unlock? What new opportunity do you hope to find?
]]>The Christmas season can be stressful and insane for anybody but if you own a small business it’s an entirely different kind of stress. This it the time of year that can make or break us. If we do well, it can set us up for the next few months when retail is historically slow. However, if our sales are slow, the first new months of the new year can be scary. We’re trying to compete with Black Friday deals from Amazon, Target and the other “Big Boys” while still trying to figure out how much we can afford to take off our prices and still actually turn a small profit.
It’s also the busiest show/market season. I know it sounds crazy, but I actually love the shows! We have a chance to meet amazing customers and vendors and make some new friends along the way. But we also get the opportunity to learn. We learn from other vendors and customers. It gives us the opportunity to learn and improve from show to show.
Even with all of this, I love what I do!!! However, there are parts of being a small business owner that I do not love. We had a very interesting show two weeks ago I want to talk about. I want to talk about this not for sympathy and support but to show a different side.
We understand that we may not be everybody’s “cup of tea” given that we sell faith based apparel and accessories. Faith and religion has always a topic that seems taboo to discuss.
The challenging part for us during this show was the response we received. We have had people walk past our booth and we can hear comment regarding our products. Again, not everyone likes our items.
However, we have never had people come into our booth just to tell us how much they hated our things. Over three days, we had people come into our space and tell us we were stupid. Someone actually poked my mom the shoulder and told her she was stupid! Others come in and tell us our products were awful, overpriced, wretched, and not worth anything. Still others came in to tell us we had no business being there selling our items. Never in my life have I experienced something like this. We had people walk by the booth and tell us how much they hated what we had. We had people come in our booth and curse at us.
I understand that when you go to market shows and you go to into small business, you may not like what that person sells but that does not give you the right to insult them and belittle them. No one has that right! I put my heart and time into this business. I miss time with family and friends to make this business grow. I want to show my daughter that she can own her own business and be successful. I remember going home that Saturday night after the show and calling my husband in tears.
I can can’t tell you how many times my husband and my daughter have stayed up late into the night tagging clothing and boxing up jewelry and pictures. How many time my mom and my dad have helped me load trucks to set up for a show. Or how many times my mom and my sister and I have gotten up at 5:00 am to be ready for a 7:00 am show, worked a 14-hour shift to come home, get dinner at 10:00 pm and do it again the next day. The crazy thing is we absolutely love it! I love meeting our customers. I love the stories that we get to hear, the hugs that we get and the time I get to spend with my family in a business that I love with all my heart.
So please remember this holiday season as you are shopping to support small businesses. Remember that we are trying to compete with the big boys and every little purchase helps. Every “like” and “share” on social media helps. But also remember that if you don’t like someone’s items, please be kind and respectful. Hurtful words can dig deep.
]]>